Change

Today is Sweetly Six’s first day of First Grade. I can’t even believe that I just wrote that!  Holy Moly. Geez Louise. The HOTY (Husband Of The Year for new readers) and I are so incredibly blessed with a happy, healthy and well adjusted daughter. She weathered all of the changes that came with my FBC (f-bomb breast cancer for new readers) like a champ. In fact, throughout my illness and treatment, she was a consistent inspiration full of Silver Linings.

The last two days, she has had Nerve Bugs about moving into First Grade. It’s a big change: new classroom, new teachers, new students, longer days, more structure, less play, more work. Uhhhhh, yes.

We’ve worked hard, though, on creating a smooth transition and this is how we’ve done it:

I believe that the first step for a smooth transition into 1st grade starts at home. The HOTY and I plan almost every day around Sweetly Six’s sleep. She still goes to bed at 6:30 pm (yes, I said 6:30!).  We worked really, really, really hard to “sleep train” her when she was an infant and toddler because it is our job, our priority, as parents to ensure that she gets enough sleep at night. A typical 1st grader needs anywhere from 10-12 hours of sleep each night. That’s right: 10-12! Any less than that and you might find that your child’s behavior or attitude at school or even at home the next night can dramatically change. Sweetly Six is another child altogether when she doesn’t get enough sleep.

A healthy diet is another humongous priority in our home. A highly nutritious breakfast and lunch help children succeed at school. I’m sure you’ve heard about the studies demonstrating that children who eat a healthy, well-balanced meal every morning are much more able to focus and stay awake during the day at school. One of my favorite things to do is pack a lunch with her favorite healthy foods and adding a hand written note telling her how much I love her. This reminds Sweetly Six that even when she is away from home during the day, she is still on my mind.

At the end of the school day (and especially in anticipation of a more highly structured environment), we have an after school ritual. Sweetly Six always has a snack, usually a plate of fresh fruit. We also encourage her to do an activity that helps her unwind. Reading happens to be her favorite form of relaxation.

Consistent, honest and open communication is a core value of our family. We discuss everything, even the tough stuff in a mutually respectful way. As you know, I am a firm believer that talking openly with children, whether about disease or the Nerve Bugs of going into First Grade, gives them the confidence and security to succeed.

When Sweetly Six said that she had Nerve Bugs about the newness of First Grade and felt sad about not being with her (magnificent!) Kindergarten teacher and much-loved classmates, I acknowledged and normalized her feelings. I didn’t try to take them away or devalue them. After a few tears, we looked for, yes, the Silver Linings. In her words:

1. I get to be with two of my good friends from Kindergarten
2. There will be new friends to meet and play with
3. I will see my old friends at lunch. Oh and Momma, did I tell you that lunch is LONGER?
4. Learning from a new teacher is a Silver Lining
5. I get to learn more Math, Reading Comprehension, Science and I finally get to have homework. (Yes, indeed!  Ohhhhh, if I could bottle that!)

This exercised helped her see that she could hold Nerve Bugs simultaneously with excitement. That’s the beauty of Silver Linings: they don’t take away or negate pain or sadness. They provide balance and perspective.

So, last night before she went to bed, she was psyched for her first day. She said, “Momma, I know that by tomorrow morning, I’m going to be more excited than nervous and that is my Silver Lining.” …and mine too, dear heart. Mine too.