As I am joyfully reentering the world, one thing that I have found remarkable (& dumbfounding) is the number of people who come up to me and say, “Hi! Do you remember me?”
I can’t begin to describe how unsettling this is. I’m about 80% on names. Some days more like 65%. Some names come to me out of the blue. Some names come long after an interaction.
The Silver Lining is that I no longer feel guilty if I don’t remember someone’s name. I’m also not embarrassed to say, “I have no idea what your name is.” It’s certainly not as if I’ve intended to forget a person’s name. Well, most of the time, anyway!
Today was a bit of a hoot. In addition to the multiple “Do you remember me?” inquisitions, I had one person come up to me (after not having seen me in a year) and tell me that she really likes how I am wearing my hair now. I told her that it wasn’t my style of choice. She looked at me quizzically and moved on. I giggled to myself.
So, I might gently suggest that if you haven’t seen someone in a bit of time…and especially if you know that person has had some life challenges, you walk up to that person and start with a, “Hi! I’m Blah-de-Blah. So good to see you again!”
That, my friends, would provide an immense amount of relief to that person who is still feeling some shock and awe…and chemo brain!
Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something.
~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Dear Hollye,
Loved your gentle suggestion! I always try to introduce myself and then say it is so nice to see them again, I wouldn't want to presume someone would remember me let alone my name after any absence. This puts them at ease and my feelings can't be offended if they didn't remember meeting me! Your blog deals with so many topics- you keep us hooked never knowing what today's topic will be- you never disappoint me. Cheers to SL's wherever you find them tomorrow!
Amen to that!!!
Hollye – you're so amusing, this is such an obvious topic, yet one no one thinks about! An excellent idea, since I have a terrible memory and LOVE when people remind me of their names so I don't look completely ridiculous trying to think of it the whole time – actually, my curse is remembering the name just after someone has told me it! I'm useless, yes. Miss you!!
xoxo
Catie
Hollye, I'm face blind and name challenged but feel less embarrassed about my "disability" after reading this post.
I have a confession. I passed you on the street in Chicago last summer. You were wearing a fantastic black and white graphic(Prada?) jacket and skinny pants and we were heading in opposite directions at Water Tower Park. I thought, "Gee, she looks familiar" but didn't stop to say hello. When I dug through my brain and came up with the info to match your face, I felt terrible and wanted to run back to catch up with you.
I now feel a little better knowing you probably didn't recognize me either. Promise: next time we cross paths, I'm just going to say hello and you will have to tell me who YOU are!!!
XOX
Caron
Hi Hollye, I'm Carly … It's so good to "hear" you in this post. LOVE it!!