Recently, my lovely friend Samantha Ettus came over for a play date and BBQ with her fabulous husband and adorable children. In short order, we found ourselves talking about being a working mom – how hard it is and how wonderful it is.
Samantha is amazing. She is a coach, bestselling author, media personality and speaker. Samantha is the bestselling author of a four book Random House book series that includes The Experts’ Guide to the Baby Years. She is a contributor to Forbes.com and hosts a nationally syndicated radio show for working moms.
Recently she wrote a terrific article about the subject of our conversation: 8 Great Reasons to Keep Working After You Have Kids. She kindly allowed me to share this with you.
————————————————————————————————-
Work and family life don’t need to conflict; they need to coexist. It is time to stop glamorizing the alternative and talk about the big bonuses of keeping up your career after you have a child. Here are 8 great reasons to stay in the workforce after having a baby:
1. You will Enjoy a Happier Marriage
Studies show that couples in which both spouses work have greater marital satisfaction. Your marriage will be more likely to thrive if you have something to focus on outside of the home and your spouse will feel less financial pressure if you bring home some of the bacon.
2. You Will Remain Financially Independent
As Leslie Bennetts described in her book “The Feminine Mistake,” in more than half of traditional marriages, the male spouse will either die prematurely, lose his job or leave his wife. When this happens to a stay at home mom, there is no safety net and the entire family’s financial stability is jeopardized. Further, many women report losing financial power in their home when they leave the workforce. You never want to be pitching your spouse on a purchase.
3. You Will Raise Stronger Kids
We are now aware of the deep dangers of overparenting, also known as helicopter parenting. When you stay at home, you are far more inclined to over-parent because parenting becomes your sole focus. As expert Michele Borba explains,“If we keep hovering we will rob our kids of self-reliance.”
4. You Will Secure Future Earnings
A woman who leave the workforce for just three years after having kids give up 37% of her future earnings according to a study done by Sylvia Ann Hewlett. This puts your family’s financial health at risk.
5. You Will Gain Personal Fulfillment
Getting personal satisfaction from something other than your children is critical to being a great parent and a happy one. As France’s most famous parenting authority Pamela Druckerman explains, “The reigning view in France is that if a child is a woman’s only goal, everyone suffers, including the child.”
6. You Will Bring Worldliness to Your Home
When you stay home, your world shrinks because you are surrounded by women like you; moms of the same age, ethnicity and socioeconomic status typically cluster together. By keeping up your career, you will be a more active participant in the world and expand the perspectives you bring into your home. As former stay at home mom Lisa Heffernan explains “In the workplace my contacts and friends included both genders and people of every description, and I was better for it.”
7. You Will Serve As A Role Model
There are two ways you have a greater good impact as a working mom. Firstly, the future generation of young women need working mom role models for support, inspiration and mentorship. And then of course, there is the role modeling that goes on in your own home. A Harvard educated mom who returned to life as an entrepreneur after seven years at home tells this story: When she explained to her kids that she would be starting a company, they asked how that could be since, “Daddies start businesses and mommies stay home.” She sprinted to the office and hasn’t looked back.
8. You Will be Happier
A recent study showed that stay at home moms suffer from significantly greater levels of depression by age 40 than working moms. It is hard to raise a happy child if you are an unhappy mom. As the old adage goes, when mom isn’t happy, nobody is.
Samantha Ettus is the leading lifestyle and parenting expert for working women. She is the founder of Working Moms Lifestyle, a bestselling author and speaker. Connect with her at @samanthaettus or on Facebook: Facebook.com/workingmomslifestyle
Eight great pointers to refer to when a working Mom may be feeling guilty, stressed, or overwhelmed. Also for those who aren't working this may be encouragement to maintain a career outside the home.
I took time off from teaching from five months pregnant at the end of my school year, until the day my daughter started first grade. We both started back to school on the same day.
From then on I worked full time, with the exception of a couple hiatuses from work due to job transfers for my husband.
Having a career outside the home has been rewarding. But I must say since 2011 I am enjoying my retirement!
Thanks so much for your comment, Carolee. So happy that you enjoyed both work AND retirement!
I agree wholeheartedly with some of the points, not so much with others but then again I'm a SAHM 🙂 I think instead of writing points on how "Work and family life don’t need to conflict; they need to coexist" we should instead be trying as women and especially as mothers, whether working outside the home for a paycheck or inside the home for no money at all, to encourage one another and not to judge one another's choices in life.
What a wonderful comment, Nancy. Very well said. Thank you!