The beginning of 2015 has sucked. Sucked as in, I really need a do-over. Or a a restart. Or something. I ended 2014 with the worst flu of my entire life. I’m not being dramatic. In fact, describing it as the worst flu of my life is really an under-exaggeration. (I didn’t want to worry you.)
Oh and the HOTY (Husband Of The Year) was out of f-bomb town! On the heels of that (literally 15 minutes after my fever broke and I could swallow without it feeling like razor blades in my throat), one of my best friend’s husband died. Just died. In the morning, he was fine and by the afternoon, a heart attack had taken him from his family, friends and community. F-bomb. F-Bomb. F-bomb.
I felt like I had literally been run over by a truck. I couldn’t stop crying. I felt numb. And exhausted. And irritable. And anxious. And lonely. And, of course, sad.
But you know what? It was my friend – whose husband had just died – who looked for Silver Linings. Seriously, I about fell on the floor when she said, “Well, a Silver Lining was…”
Now that I have stopped coughing up a lung and my girlfriend is beginning to settle into her new f-bomb reality, I find myself thinking about the fact that we are nearly 1/2 way into the first month of 2015.
In January’s past, I have made resolutions such as reading more books, taking more yoga classes, and making more homemade dinners. But lets be honest… sometimes life gets in the way and many resolutions become history by the month of March (if not before!). Maybe not for you, but for me this seems to be the case.
This year – thanks to the catastrophes that have kicked off the year – I am changing things up a bit. Instead of making a resolution that is physically achieved, I want to make a resolution that further challenges and inspires my perspective and, most importantly, won’t dwindle away after a few months into the year.
So, here is what I’m thinking: I am resolving to choose to find more Silver Linings in the year 2015 than ever before! I know that this is definitely a doable task for me and yet will continue to challenge me.
My experience with f-bomb breast cancer – and really every challenge that I face – has shown me the importance of finding Silver Linings in the darkest seasons of life. Sometimes it seems like there could be no possible way that a Silver Lining exists in certain situations, but (believe me!) they do. I promise!
Now, remember: they don’t take away the pain of a situation (e.g., diagnosis, death…), but they provide the balance, perspective and hope to get through…sometimes from one moment to the next. This, my friends, is the essence of Silver Linings.
So please, join me in choosing to find Silver Linings in this New Year!
Here are a few ways to start:
- Express gratitude for what you DO have in this moment
- Smile often
- Be playful. Put a bounce in your emotional step
- Take breaks from technology
- Express love, even to strangers
- Sleep
- Look at challenges as opportunities to learn and grow
- Eat healthy, but treat yourself
- Focus on the present
- Exercise
- Be open to change
- Do what makes you happy
- Simplify
- Decide that no matter what you WILL find a Silver Lining
In what ways do you choose to find Silver Linings?
Holly dear,
Im so sad to hear of your friends husband. I think the silver lining in all of this
is to remember to have annual physicals. As we get older we take so much for granted.
There are so many tests today that can tell what you are vulnerable too. We get an
executive physical every year and also have a concierge Doctor. I know that it is expensive and mostly not covered by
insurance but it has been very helpful in determining our ongoing care. My husband
had a heart attack 3 years ago and luckily was diagnosed immediately and wisked
into the cath lab for a stint. He lost weight, started to swim and eat more healthy albeit a little fromage is a treat now ! Everyday is a blessing. We try as we may also to shed stress from our lives which I believe is so detrimental to your well being.
Im so glad you are feeling better. Take care of yourself … remember to take time for yourself sweet Hollye xxxooo
Joanie
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Thank you so much dear Joanie! I couldn’t agree more about annual physicals. They are so very important!
I am taking more time for myself these days. Thank you for the reminder.
xxx Hollye
kick butt with excerise. eat healthy, but treat yourself for your silver lining
Yes! Yes! Yes, Mary! Thanks!
That is a great list. Thank you. I think for me the biggest trick is to try to slow down and to simplify. I think it is the biggest thing cancer has taught me. So I try very hard and trust me with 3 kids I am not always successful, to step back and realize I am one person and can’t do it all. The funny thing is when I do this I appreciate everything so much more. My dear friend who is a 12 year cancer survivor lost her husband to ALS two weeks ago. It was incredibly sad but such a good reminder to live every day.
Jennifer
For sure. Me too, Jennifer!
So very sad to hear about your friend. Ugh.
More reminders of the fragility of life!
Wise advice Hollye. So glad you have recovered from the flu and all best wishes for a happy and healthy New Year for you and HOTY!
Thanks so much, Nina! 🙂
I can certainly identify with the beginning of this year…………physical and emotional f-bombs everywhere! My sis, during the conversation about the overwhelming issues we have been facing this month, said that she was just going to consider January 2015 a “vacation” and begin to tackle issues next month instead. Good attitude! It isn’t about how many times one is knocked down but that one rises up after each tumble to face the world again.
Thank you for staying “real” and yet at the same time, listing ways to be encouraged and proactive this year. Happy Silver Linings to you and yours this year!
Ohhhh, Marsha. So sad and sorry to hear this! Rising up after tumbles is so important and valuable and helps us get through everything we face. Thank you so much for your comment. Hoping that things are looking up after the f-bombs that began the year!
Hollye
this is why you always put a smile on my face, ( a silver lining )
I wish you the best in 2015
xxoo
sandy
Awwwww, thanks Sandy!
Happy 2015!
Hello Hollye
I’m sorry the beginning of 2015 didn’t get off to the best start for you. As always, when I read your blog, you find a way to see the cup half full or if not, you find another cup. Your words are always uplifting and inspiring even when you are going through a rough time. As long as I have my health, every moment is a silver lining.
You’ve done so much for others. I especially thank you for offering people the companion book as a free courtesy. I think everyone has been affected by cancer in some way and should purchase “The Silver Lining, A Supportive and Insightful Guide to Breast Cancer.”
It’s only the first month of the year. There is so many more wonderful possibilities in each day of the following months. I wish you the best of all possibilities.
Stay well and strong.
Sandi
Not a worry in the world, Sandi. Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful note!
Such a great post for the upcoming year! I made a resolution to be braver in situations where someone utilizes my kindness in a wrong way. I don’t want to waste the precious life to those type of interactions. I’ve found the Silver Lining perspective so useful in 2014. It was really challenging year health wise but as I browsed my photos from 2014, I did not see that. I had captured beauty, fun, adventure, kindness. I had those moments because I chose to think, see and live the Silver Linings <3
Yay, Inni! So glad!
Thank you Hollye for sharing this. You have helped change my day!!! XOXOO
So glad, dear Jill! 🙂