SL Interview with Beverlye Hyman-Fead

When I was bald as an eagle and not feeling so hot, I was invited to a beautiful and intimate dinner party where I had the great fortune of meeting Beverlye Hyman-Fead.

Beverlye was diagnosed nearly ten years ago with Stage IV Sarcoma. What she thought was a death sentence turned into her life’s work. While there was and still is no cure for her cancer, today, she is lives with the disease.

She is a vital, physically active, kind, intelligent, funny and gorgeous woman.  In fact, to look at her, you would never know that she has cancer.

Beverlye recently produced a film Stage IV: Living with Cancer. It is a beautiful and inspirational film that gives tremendous perspective on what it is like to live with Stage IV cancer.

This film is about cancer survivors who have lived exciting and fulfilling lives after a 4^th stage diagnosis. Beverlye’s objective is to inspire people with stories of  4^th stage cancer survivors who have far exceeded their dire diagnosis and prognosis. Additionally, she aims to encourage families and friends of cancer survivors (& even people without illness in their lives) to change their lives for the positive.

This film also gives terrific perspective on how the treatment of cancer has changed as well as where treatment is headed.

The more time I spend with Beverlye, the better I feel. She always makes me smile. Below are some questions and answers with Beverlye to help us get to know her a little better.

A very special thanks to Beverlye who finds Silver Linings in the most dire of circumstances and shares them with the world.

What inspired you to create Stage IV: Living with Cancer?

When I realized that I was living with stage IV cancer I started meeting several other people with stage III and stage IV cancer who were doing just fine. I wanted those stories to get out so that people knew that they too could do this if they were ever diagnosed. At first I was going to do a book and write stories of all these people that I had met who gave me such inspiration, but then I wanted other people to see how they looked at talked with such vitality as well as hear their stories. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it should be a film.

Why is it important for people to share their stories?

If I know you can do it, then it makes me feel I can do it. If it was up to me, everyone would feel like that. Sharing your stories gives hope and inspiration where sometimes there is none. I believe anything is possible.

The film talks about how a positive attitude can help change how you deal with cancer.  I call those Silver Linings. What are the Silver Linings in your life?

How has your diagnosis changed the way you live your life on a daily basis and as a whole?

As corny as it sounds, a cancer diagnosis does make your eyesight different. The sky is bluer and the grass is greener. You look at life through eyes that say “I have no time to lose.” Every moment counts. Do I really want to be spending my time doing that? You make different decisions as to how you want to spend your days and nights.

What advice would you give to someone who is newly diagnosed?

The first thing is to become proactive in your cancer. Get several opinions. Find out what’s the latest information on your particular cancer. Form a team (family members) and have your team go on the internet and find what doctors are the best in their field for what you have. Start surrounding your body with health (food, exercise, yoga, acupuncture, etc). And last but not least, become co-captain with your doctor. He has hundreds of patients, you only have one.

What can friends of people with cancer do to support them?

There’s lots for friends and family to do. They can send them the latest book, take them to a movie or bring one over and sit and watch it with them. They can ask if they can take them to treatment and sit with them. And most of all, they can just be there for them.  When I first given my 2 months to live diagnosis, instead of it being terribly morose at my house, it was almost like some sort of strange party. My friends and family gathered around me and it was very comforting.

 

 

Have your priorities changed since your diagnosis?

Definitely. I would say I now have 3 priorities: my family, cancer advocacy, and close friends. And the rest is secondary.

What is your favorite night out?

Probably a night out in New York at a great restaurant with my husband. And then going to listen to our friend, Steve Tyrell, sing at the Carlyle. My favorite night out here in Santa Barbara is eating either at Tre Lune, or outside downstairs and the San Ysidro Ranch. Both of those places have great energy and wonderful food.

What are you reading now?

I just finished 3 great books in a row. Last night I finished “Loving Frank” (Frank Lloyd Wright). Before that I read “The Paris Wife” (Hemmingway’s first wife). Before that “Unbroken.” Three very different and very good books.

What is the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?

If my husband isn’t there, smooch with my dog. Then exercise.

What is the last thing you do at night before going to bed?

I read before bed to put my mind to sleep.

Has your diagnosis changed the way you eat and drink?  If so, how?

Yes, I eat very carefully now. Very little meat, mostly vegetables, chicken and rice, salads, very little drinking. Wine does not agree with my medicine so I stay away from that. But once in a while I have tequila.

What is your favorite philanthropy?

Raising money any way I can for (all) cancer research is what I spend my time doing. Anytime I speak at an event, I am excited to know that part of the ticket fee goes into cancer research.

What is your favorite film?

My favorite film of all times is “Out of Africa.” My husband and I watch it once a year together. The music and the love story never fails to move me. A close second is “Something’s Gotta Give.”

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path
and leave a trail.

– Harold R. McAlindon