Finding Humor During Illness
As many of you may recall, I was the FBC (f-bomb breast cancer) patient for whom everything that could go wrong seemingly did. My oh my. From my colitis (i.e., spewing from both ends) to extraordinary pain because someone forgot to turn on the pain medicine after surgery to being stranded on Isolation Island, I was a bit of a cancer mess (understatement of the decade!).
One of my great Silver Linings during this period was the ability to find humor in the absurd. I know that it may sound whacky – to laugh when throwing up on the side of the freeway, for example or to absolutely completely and totally relate to the bathroom scene in Bridesmaids – but the HOTY and I laughed – a LOT. Sometimes it was that nervous, screechy, ridiculously high pitched laughing, but it was indeed laughter. There were situations in which things were just so ridiculous that they were funny!
According to the American Cancer Society, Humor therapy is the use of humor for the relief of physical or emotional pain and stress. It is used as a complementary method to promote health and cope with illness. Although available scientific evidence does not support claims that laughter can cure cancer or any other disease, it can reduce stress and enhance a person’s quality of life. Humor has physical effects because it can stimulate the circulatory system, immune system, and other systems in the body. These are some pretty wonderful and worthwhile Silver Linings of laughter!
Over a year ago, a dear family friend of ours, 30 year-old Danny Zollars, was diagnosed with rectal AND liver cancer. Uh huh. Sit with that for a second. Or don’t. It was as stunning to learn about Danny’s diagnosis as it was for people to hear about mine.
Shortly after Danny’s diagnosis, he started a blog called “Rectal Talk.” In it he chronicles his experiences and includes a great deal of humor….and potty talk. When it comes to incorporating humor during cancer treatment Danny says, “I think it’s the only way to attack this horrible condition. Cancer can really knock you down to your core and I believe a positive a attitude and a bright outlook truly help one heal.”
Part of Danny’s treatment included having an ileostomy bag. In case you are unfamiliar (and I hope that you are!), an ileostomy is performed when the large intestine is no longer capable of performing its normal functions. In an ileostomy, an opening called a stoma is constructed to connect the small intestine to the skin allowing fecal material to be expelled from the body without the large intestine’s help. As Danny describes it, “Having feces poor out of your stomach while you are chatting with friends is a great feeling. Sitting at restaurants and feeling it come out while eating is another great way to feel good about yourself! I will miss emptying it in every public bathroom in West LA. If you are in West LA and need to know where the best restrooms are, hit me up and i will guide you to a great experience.”
I’ve been reading Danny’s blog daily for the past year. I don’t think that I laughed as hard as when I read his post last week when he said, “I have been through a lot of tough situations in the last year but going to Costco in Van Nuys on a Sunday afternoon was one of the toughest. The only thing that got me through it was that it was sample Sunday.”
Reading Danny’s blog gives me great perspective and helps remind me to not only appreciate the health that I have today, but to find humor daily. The Silver Lining is that it appears as though Danny is nearing the end of his ordeal (at least we are ALL hoping!) and that he is engaged to an incredible woman AND he is moving into their new home. These are the things that Danny chooses to focus on, which is one of the many reasons that I admire and respect him.
Here is the scene from Bridesmaids. I watched it twice before uploading it and had tears pouring down my face the entire time.
http://youtu.be/eLbpcnzUdvw
Will never think of Jordan Almonds the same way again! I love that scene so much. Thanks for recommending this blog. He sounds amazing!
I wholeheartedly agree, Ellen! And the funny thing is that I had one the day before. Thanks for writing!
Sometimes you get the giggles; other times you indulge in hysterical laughter. Whether laughter comes out of frustration, from tears and sadness, from a funny line or joke, or from a humorous story or movie, it is a great release from tension, anxiety, and/or fear. After all laughter is really the best medicine!
I couldn't agree more, Carolee! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your thought, love, and finishing with the Bridesmaid's video. It's hilarious!
Absolutely, Susan! Talk about finding humor in the absurd!! 🙂
Our whole family quotes Bridesmaids at every gathering. One of our favorites is the bathroom scene…"Look Away! Just look away!"
LOVE IT Cynthia! Cracks me up just thinking about it!
Dear Hollye,
I just finished your book. It was wonderful. I saw you on GMA a few weeks ago and thought to myself that I have 15 really great girlfriends and someday…one day, I just may need your book – maybe for a girlfriend, for me, or even for my 29 year old daughter. Before I even had the chance to download it to my Kindle, my best friend received news a few days ago she had invasive ductal carcinoma of the breast. Yikes! Thought the diagnosis was just "breast cancer"……I had no idea there was such a technical term.
With that said, nothing happens by coincidence, but by grace and faith. In our family, we call them "God winks". Writing this book and seeing you on GMA was a silver lining for me and now I will "pay it forward".
I downloaded the book, read it this weekend and ordered four hard copies – one for my friend, one for our other good friend, one for my friend's daughter and one for my friend's sister. I just did not want to start with…"hey, I bought you a book" without reading it myself. I wasn't sure how appropriate it would be. After all, my friend just received the news less than a week ago. I just wasn't sure.
Needless to say, the book is amazing….funny but sad, heartwarming yet truthful, and unbelievably informative. I read it from a personal level, too, as my own mother died of breast cancer when I was 19. I relived many memories – good and bad – through your experiences, as a daughter, not a friend. I thought of your daughter a lot as I read the book and loved your honest and open approach with her. At 19, I was kept in the dark and to this day, I still wonder why. I am now 55 years old. Unfortunately, time did not heal that wound.
My friend saw the surgeon today. She will have four months of chemotherapy, to start….before surgery. I have to admit that your journey through treatment is a bit scary, but as you reinforced many times, everyone is different. I would rather that "we" expect the worst and hope for the best.
Finally, I am so happy to hear you are back to living your life to the fullest….especially, running. Actually, my daughter is training for a half marathon. Ironically, I thought the other day….My daughter is preparing for the run of her life, while my best friend is preparing to save her life.
The silver lining for them….having a mother and friend who will be their biggest cheerleader through their incredible journey.
Thank you and bless you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your experience with others. If you want to teach someone something, tell them a story. I'm sure I am just one of many stories yet to come as a result of your story.
Betsy
Dear Dear Betsy,
THANK YOU for your note! I'm so sad and sorry to hear about your best friend, but am happy that you will be sharing the book with her. I hope that it helps her.
Your daughter and your best friend so obviously have a Silver Lining in YOU.
Sending all of my very best wishes to you all.
Please stay in touch and let me know if I can help in any way.
Very best,
Hollye