Dear Friends,
Happy New Year!
2011. Here we are.
First of all, wasn’t it just 2000? Where did 10 years go? 10 years? Really? Holy Moly.
I’ve heard so many people say that 2010 was a “bad” year. “Awful,” they’d say, “Can’t wait for it to be over.”
Several of those people presumed that I felt the same way. WTF? Bad? Not a chance! Of course, the Silver Lining Seeking Syndrome in me kicks in.
Now, I acknowledge that 2010 was a formidable year, filled with a pendulum of emotions (and an extraordinarily large number of F-bombs!), to say the least.
But, “bad” is the last word that I would use to describe 2010. I wonder…
- How could a year with so much love, so much joy, so many friends (old and new) be bad?
- How could a year in which SL’s became a part of my daily (sometimes hourly) repertoire be bad?
- How could a year with our three wonderful boys and a 4 3/4 Daughter (ever, ever) be bad?
- How could a year married to “The Husband” of the Year be bad?
- How could a year with a new Buzz (as in dog!) be bad?
- How could a year with compassionate, smart, present and engaged physicians be bad?
- How could…well, you get the point…
I persistently, consistently, untiringly (and sometimes annoyingly) believe that life circumstances have a higher purpose. I believe that we don’t always know (at the time) what the higher purpose is.
Sometimes these circumstances involve life changes that are hard, really hard. F-bomb hard. Sometimes these circumstances are full of emotional, physical and/or financial pain. Sometimes the higher purpose does not present itself for a long, long, long time. I say this as a hospice nurse who has been personally and professionally present for some outrageously excruciatingly circumstances.
However, I know from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes that everything can and will ultimately turn out the way it is supposed to. And the good news? If you look for them, SL’s will get you through.
As I reflect on the past, present and future, the one word that keeps coming to mind is:
H O P E
Emily Dickinson describes the concept of Hope so beautifully:
Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops… at all.
As I am typing this, I am so full of gratitude. For so much, but just starting with what’s under my nose:
Buzz is snoring.
The Husband is napping.
4 3/4 (soon-to-be renamed “5”) just asked:
“Are you Happy Momma?”
I said, “Yes, so happy. Are you happy, 4 3/4?”
She said, “Yes, because I’m with you.”
Then, (yes, my eyes are tearing) she asked, “Did you know that you’re the best Mommy a daughter could have?”
F-Bomb. I mean really. Does life get better than this? (FBC be damned!)
2011 will be exactly what you want it to be, no matter the circumstances (including FBC). I am hopeful that your year is filled, absolutely pouring over, with Silver Linings.
"under my nose…" just overwhelmed me with emotion. Like a ZAP. Thank you, again for being willing to share this most intimate experience.
Could you say it any better? It's like you've captured my thoughts in your elegant and beautiful prose. (Emily says it pretty well, too!) There is a higher purpose. There is meaning. Life hands us unimaginable challenges; stresses, worries, even tragedies. We also are handed unbelievable blessings; the words "I love you Mommy", the sunlight at daybreak through the clouds, the comfort of a life partner that has your back through thick and thin. More food than we can eat, more clothes than I can wear (well, maybe not that one:), friends that encircle us with compassion, humor, and sometimes frank wake up calls with startling honesty. My theme for 2011 is Gratitude. I mean it in the truest form; every morning is a blessing. My Epilepsy has been one of my most annoyingly persistent teachers in my life about finding balance, and believe me I get the f-bomb component here. But yes, even that has had a SL for me. You are finding wisdom and beauty and depth in all that you are experiencing and I look forward to long talks on the beach or just sipping tea in the kitchen with you. xoxo Carrie